Sunday, April 12, 2009

Learning From Guys Who Know How To Get A Girlfriend Easy

Growing up, I was a huge fan of Michael Jordan. When he retired for the first time he wrote a short autobiography which revealed some of his mental processes within the game and other mindsets which described briefly how he approached the game of basketball. I remember one mental approach he had, and I will paraphrase it a little, where he said something about understanding the tendencies and patterns of a player (or players) and learn how to use it to your advantage. This was similar to other semi-cliché sayings that I heard a lot of times in my life – like in Sun Tzu’s Art of War “know thy enemy and know thyself and you will never lose a battle” (or something like that) or the short clip at the end of GI Joe episodes where they keep on saying “Now I know… and knowing is half the battle.” Now, before you start to wonder if you are reading the right blog and how this will help you get a girlfriend, stay with me, I will get to my point soon.

The first thing I applied this mental approach of understanding a person’s patterns and tendencies and taking advantage of them was in video games, fighting games to be more specific. Of course, there will come a point in a fighting game (in this case Street Fighter and Tekken) where you will eventually memorize the patterns of the artificial intelligence of the game your playing against and use it to your advantage. As it turns out, this is applicable when fighting human opponents as well. I noticed that people have tendencies when they fight using certain characters and that there are a lot of tendencies that is also applicable to most players. Using this “new found knowledge” I was able to become an above average player in these games. I soon then realized that I can use this mental approach, to almost anything that requires skill. So I decided to see if it will work on the one thing in my life which at the time I was miserable at – getting a girlfriend.

The first thing I did, was to review in my mind, all the hot girls that I knew in school and made a mental list of the guys they dated. I then also remembered all the guys in school who didn’t seem to intuitively know how to get a girlfriend easy. I asked myself – “What behavioral patterns are there?” “What is the common denominator of these guys?” “Is it their looks?” “Is it because they are popular?” “Because they are jocks?” “Are they romantic” “Do you have to be a jerk?”

Then I tried to painfully remember my experiences with women. At the time, I was somehow able to get a girlfriend but she dumped me for another guy soon after, I was also able to get a couple of dates here and there with girls who seemed interested at me at first but somehow just lost touch of me or eventually lost interest in me and avoided me. I asked myself “What was my behavioural pattern when these girls liked me at the start?” “What was I doing and how was I acting when they lost interest?” I think it should be noted here, aside from my one girlfriend who dumped me, these other girls who were “interested” in me, was up to four other girls. I think I only dated one of them and the rest was just flirtatious encounters within normal social circle circumstances.

After thinking about these factors for about a day or two, I was able to come up with a hypothesis – women are attracted to power and manifestations of it – the jock, the jerk, the popular guy, the leader of the group (I was the leader of my little nerd herd when my ex-girlfriend took notice of me and made her advances), the athlete, the financially successful guy, the guy with the car, and so on and so forth. These guys had one thing in common – they all had something that manifested power, something which made them “the alpha male” – a term which came from discovery channel if you watch the documentaries of lions and other mammals regarding their mating rituals. This was my first “enima” so to speak when it comes to how to get a girlfriend.

Then I asked myself, how come the women that liked me at first, lost interest somehow. I then remembered my behavour patterns (aka how I acted) after knowing or thinking that these girls liked me. I would rather not give details on what I did but I could confidently say, that my actions at the time, can be classified as “sappy.” This “sappy” or “beta” behaviour, is what got these girls to change their minds, or in this case, their feelings about me.

In the media, and when you hear other peoples advice when it comes to girls, you hear a lot of “be yourself” crap and the like. I say its crap because all you have to do is look back in your life and remember the things I described above. I am sure that these experiences are similar to most guys who has had a crush or felt the frustrations of teenage hormones not being fulfilled. The fact that you are reading this blog is probably a good indicator that you are part of this group.

At first glance, this may seem sad at first. It may seem that you have to be fake in order to get a girlfriend. This is not the way to approach it. You can be yourself, but in order to reach your goal, it is best you do not show your whole self yet. You have to understand, at the start of the mating dance, it is all about stimulus and response. The stimuli is your behaviour and and the response is how will it make the girl feel. Just like in a video game, one action causes you character to do one thing and then your opponent responds. So think of it that way, you are controlling your character to act the proper way, to manifest behaviour that manifest some sort of alpha trait. This in turn will make the girl feel naturally attracted to you. Once she is attracted to you and you got her to be your girlfriend, that’s where the “being yourself” comes to play. To further ellobrate on how you can think so you won’t see this situation as sad, think of how fans react to celebrities. Think about how you (or people for that matter) really don’t care who that person in television or in the movie is unless he or she produces work of quality. So is the case with getting a girlfriend – produce work of quality, make them feel good, make them feel attracted, let them be in live, then and only then you show your true self and be a slob.

This mental approach to girls, and understanding that its all about stimulus and response and alpha manifestations is what I talked about in the end of my first post “First step in getting a girlfriend.” Now its up to you to wrap your brain around this concept and to think about it for a while while you are out their improving your grooming, your physical fitness and your selection of clothes.